Thursday, August 24, 2023

Wednesday, August 23, 2023

An Undocumented Ace




If you make a hole-in-one, but have no witnesses, does it count?


The short answer is “no”, according to the USGA.


The longer answer is “yes”, if you keep it to yourself . . . 


Scorecard from Harbor Lights GC, 23-08-21

Hole         1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

Par         4 4 4 5 3 3 4 4 5

Score 3 5 4 6 1 4 6 4 5


#5 is 127 yards, with a smallish green protected by bunkers 

both left and right. 

In between the right bunkers and the green  

that curls around the bunker

which is where the sucker pin was this day.


I’ve made more 5s on this short hole than 3s,

mainly due to the trough 

between those bunkers on the right 

and the green,

like an additional hazard,

a grass bunker, itself, almost, since it is so deep,

that catches any almost-errant shot 

and buries the ball in deep rough, or

throws it into a bunker.


So I hoped just to plonk the ball

into the center of the green 

and two-putt. 


I hit what I would call a half-8 iron

because either I’ve lost a club-length

due to my age, or else the ball just doesn’t carry

as far at sea-level.


The trajectory was medium,

with a fade that made me pessimistic

about being in the rough trough, again,

but the ball bounced straightish,

a little rightish, off the frog hair

toward the pin, 

but I didn’t see it go in –

I thought it had run off the back of the green,

to where I was trudging,

with only a perfunctory look into the hole,

but there it was.


I looked around,

but on Monday early afternoon,

the course was almost deserted.


So, that’s my 3rd hole-in-one,

depending on how you count   


Sunday, April 3, 2022

Meanwhile: The Fed's Golf Gaffe - Taibbi

 Next in this parade of calamities: the scourge of inflation, a problem so serious that it touched him and his colleagues personally.

“One of our contacts, for instance, mentioned whopping membership fee increases at his golf club,” Harker said, “suggesting this summer may be a good time to play at your local muni instead.”

https://taibbi.substack.com/p/meanwhile-the-feds-golf-gaffe?utm_source=substack&utm_campaign=post_embed&utm_medium=email&s=r

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Villa del Paz prevented Crime.

 The council in October rezoned the course, 18 holes just west of Loop 101 and south of Camelback Road in west Phoenix, to only allow it to be used for a golf course or open space. Before that, zoning would've allowed homes to be built on the land.

Residents living in the neighborhood around the course, who have been trying to preserve it for years, celebrated the decision. But the rezoning was against the will of the property owner, Virtua Partners, who had plans to build homes on the land. A legal battle now brews that will take time to resolve.

This doesn’t bode well for the neighborhood, since the crime there has been skyrocketing since the course closed in April 2018.

Violent crime has more than doubled in the one-mile radius around the course, increasing from 20 homicides, rapes, assaults and robberies in the first six months of 2018 to 45 in the first six months of 2020, according to The Arizona Republic's review of city crime data. Comparatively, citywide violent crime has increased by about 7% since then.

Councilwoman Betty Guardado says the course's closure has contributed to the increase in crime and the deterioration of the neighborhood since the vacant space is not monitored.

AZ Central

Therefore i propose, golf courses be built, simply as crime-prevention measures until there is no crime . . .  funds should be diverted from other areas, in fact to further this ambition.

I mean, Villa del Paz may be an uninspiring track, but even i had underestimated its power.

Wednesday, January 6, 2021

Election Day Plans

 On Tuesday, the leader of Scotland, First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, was asked if Trump was headed her way, and what might be her message to him?

At her daily news briefing, Sturgeon said, “I have no idea what Donald Trump’s travel plans are, you’ll be glad to know.” Then she added, “I hope and expect that his immediate travel plan is to exit the White House, but beyond that I don’t know.”

Finally, Sturgeon warned Trump he might be breaking the law if he came: “We are not allowing people to come into Scotland now without an essential purpose, which would apply to him, just as it applies to everybody else. Coming to play golf is not what I would consider an essential purpose.”

Trump v. Scotland

on one hand, like so many other knee-jerks, i want to shout HUZZA! to the doubty Scots giving the finger to the Asshole-in-Chief,

but otoh, like how many others, i do not know, i didn't like the golf-bashing when Obama was president, and not now, either.

You have to remember even King James of Scotland made golf illegal. 

      but there was another time when it was more clearly banned. By decree of a Scottish King. Several Scottish Kings, in fact.

That’s right, way back in 1457(!), King James II was concerned his subjects weren’t practicing their archery enough during Scotland’s ongoing wars with England. Instead, ol “No-fun” James felt people were wasting too much time playing golf and football—AKA soccer to us ugly Americans. So he put a stop to those games by putting it in writing.

Golf Digest

so, like, Intemperate Irrationality is kinduva core trait of the Scots Ethos - I don't think that's controvertible, just is - so i am not surprised that some Scottish Virago has used circumstances in order to deliver a low-blow,

and goodness knows, the Scots have been edging back onto the world stage during the whole Brexit brouhaha, asserting their sovereignty, and good on 'em, is what i say, and well done for the snub to the First Cheater.

But as to the golf-bashing denigration as an in-essential activity, i will only submit this example for consideration:

from Wodehouse, an anecdote between The Oldest Living Member of the Club and a young man fallen into the ill-company of lawn bowlers:

When chastised, the young man replied "that bowls is a super game . . . why even when Drake heard the Spanish Armada had been spotted, he said 'We have time for one more game!'"

"If he had played Golf," the Oldest Living Member rejoins, "he never would have gone at all!"

If you see what I mean.


Friday, March 23, 2007

https://thekokopelligolfstance.blogspot.com/

Sunday, February 16, 2020

ACE # 13 Scot Schreiner in Kerrville

with our eyes stinging from the cedar pollen wafting mercilessly on the winds,
we could hardly see the ball,
plus that green is uphill a good bit
4 iron, 168 yds, quartering wind from the right hurting was a frozen rope
a west texas wind-cheater
that landed short of the green,
but the little bulldog bounced left away from the trap
tractored up the steep face to the green
and obviously to me rolled toward the cup
but still
the chances seemed minimal
having a terrible round -- 
but that's the way it goes with duffers
they get their aces during bad rounds
me and my witness

the scorecard

i'll update my chart of premium holes later.

Thursday, January 16, 2020

Golfing Papa


Mamie Smith - Golfing Papa
Golfing Dan was a golfing man
He'd golf morn til night
He had a mama, a loving mama
He didn't treat her right
He come home all tired out
And right to bed he go
His mama soon got tired of this
And these words she whisperd low

Golfin' Papa, you're way over par
You'll have to stop puttin' on the green
You had your way on the fairway
You know just what I mean

Now your start is perfect your aim is true
But when you drive you fail to follow through
Golfin' Papa, you're way over par
You'll have to stop puttin' on the green
Use your nibblets
You have to start putting on the green

Now what you need is a golf coach
You're all right on your drive
But bad on your approach
What you want, your mama has got
But son you better practice
You're so ___ on shot

Now listen papa you must learn your stuff
Cause when you drive you fly to go right in the rough
...From paying green fees, you've got me broke!
Your shafts are bent, and now you've lost your master stroke!
So pack your golf bag, you've had your fun
I've found another man who's made a hole in one!

Golfin' Papa, you're way over par
You'll have to stop puttin' on the green
Turn in your golf cart
You'll have to stop puttin' on the green